Since moving back to Lancaster, SC, in 1998, after having been away from the area for almost 20 years, my wife, Teresa, and I have observed an annual tradition – a one-day trip to walk among the azaleas at Glencairn Gardens in Rock Hill, SC. This annual trip is very important to us for several reasons, but the most important is that this beautiful garden played a big role in saving our marriage. That may sound a little over the top, so let me begin by telling a true story that happened over 30 years ago.

I was serving as pastor of a church in Monroe, NC, in the early 1980’s. At this time, I was also working toward my bachelor’s degree at Wingate College (now university). I was always busy – too busy. Trying to prepare three sermons each week, and carrying a full load of classes at Wingate left very little time for other things. And, please note, by other things I mean my wife and two sons. I had become so very busy that it caused my youngest son, Joshua, to stand in the doorway crying as I was headed out for class one morning. It wasn’t necessarily the cry that got to me, it was what he said as he sobbed. “I’m not letting you go today, daddy. I need you!” This crushed me. I put my books down, picked my son up, and we spent a wonderful day together.

Now, don’t pat me on the back just yet. The story isn’t over. I wish I could say that caused me to reprioritize, but sadly, it did not.  One day spent at home is a far cry from earning the father of the year award. I was right back to old habits the next day, and no sign of any permanent change was evident.

I continued my busy schedule, thinking all was well, until one day I had a visit from one of the best friends I have ever been privileged to know. Donnie Gamble dropped by unannounced. He sat across from me at my desk where I was once again busily involved with whatever task I was focused on at the time. He very calmly, and yet very sternly, said to me, “Steve, do you realize you are losing your family?” I laughed. I mean, I really laughed. This was a huge joke, wasn’t it? I mean, I am a pastor; I am serving God; I am pastoring a church: I am going to college to better equip myself for God’s service. How could I possibly be losing my family?

Donnie didn’t laugh. Nor did he smile. Nor did he give any indication that this was a huge joke. Donnie was serious. Dead serious. (By the way, just as an aside, this is the kind of friend we all need – someone who loves us enough to tell us the truth, even knowing that it could ruin the friendship.) I quit laughing, but still accused Donnie of playing some kind of cruel joke. Finally, seeing that he was not going to convince me of the truth of his assessment, he offered a challenge. He asked me to simply ask Teresa when she came home if he was correct. I agreed.

That evening I asked Teresa if she felt we were drifting apart. She instantly burst into tears. She was trying to keep it all together, but the pressure was becoming too much for her to bear. I was spending no time with her, with our sons, because I had become so caught up in doing what I felt I needed to be doing.

Now, this is where Glencairn Garden comes in. I called the chairman of deacons. I shared with him that I needed to take a few days off. Teresa and I packed a few things, got in the car, and made the long trip from Monroe, NC, to Rock Hill, SC – a trip of approximately 40 miles. We checked into a hotel, and went to Glencairn. All day, we walked and talked in those beautiful gardens. We cried together as I made confession of being so blind. We laughed together as we made renewed commitments to each other and to our family.

So now, every time we go back, my mind is flooded with memories. Memories of a friend who loved me enough to confront me with the truth. Memories of a time when our marriage was strengthened as we renewed our love for one another, and as we recast our focus on the things that are most important. And now, memories of a place that has come to mean so much to me – more than I could ever hope to convey in a simple blog.

Now you know the story as to why I love my annual trek to this beautiful place. Do you have a place like this? If not, might I suggest you find one. Teresa and I have been to much larger, and yes, much more beautiful gardens than Glencairn. But none will ever have the special place in our hearts as this. So, from now on, when I post pictures of our annual journey, you will see pictures that look remarkably like those from the previous year. They may not mean much to the viewer, until you know the story behind the pictures. Now you know, and each year I pray you will enjoy another installment of yet another trip to Glencairn.