Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection.

Colossians 3:12-14

There are certain things in life that cause me a great deal of pain, sorrow, and deep, abiding sadness. I would like to focus my attention in this blog on one of those crushing realities: fractured families.

Please allow me to begin on a positive note. I am so very blessed in this life to have a wonderful family. I am the youngest of three children. My sister, Ada, and my brother, Wayne, are two very special people. Our parents, W.C. and Evelyn Stewart, were extremely good providers for us as we grew. My siblings and I were blessed to have such sacrificial parents who put our needs first. I did not realize until I reached young adulthood how they cared so deeply for us.

As a young, rebellious teen-ager I took so much for granted. I very seldom, if ever, stopped to realize how much my parents cared for me. Without going into graphic detail, just let it suffice to say I was not a very good child/teenager/young adult. Pretty much the exact opposite. I can’t bear to imagine all the heartache and grief I caused my parents in those years of my life.

But they never, ever, stopped loving me. They were always there, always loving and caring, even when I gave them every possible reason to disown me. I am sure that my siblings would say the same thing about our parents.

However, that is not what this blog is about. This blog is about the heartache and heartbreak of those family members who live in a constant state of fracture. Something has happened – perhaps something of extreme significance, or, perhaps, something of the most trivial nature imaginable.

Allow me to share a couple of personal experiences I have known in the past. In one instance, a father and son lived in houses with adjoining yards. They saw each other every day. They would pass by one another as they left their respective homes. They even attended the same church! But when I met them, they had not spoken in over ten years. As I tried to facilitate a reconciliation between them, I was simply told it was none of my business. The father was tragically killed in an accident, without ever having been reconciled to his son. Fractured!

Another example was a few years after the incident mentioned above. The father of six siblings was gravely ill. The family was called to the hospital as the father’s condition worsened, and his death was imminent. As I sat in the ICU waiting room with these six siblings, I could sense the tension between them. They were arguing about who would get what when their father passed. The situation grew so heated that the police were called to intervene. Fractured!

I could relate several other instances, but these two will show how awful it is to live in a fractured relationship with those we should love the most. I realize that disagreements occur, and even times of heated arguments might take place, but should we not work at resolving those issues that have divided us? Should we not make every effort to be reconciled?

When my mother’s health began to decline, my siblings and I began trying to work out a plan that would best meet her needs. The time eventually arrived in which she could no longer care for herself, so my sister, sister-in-law, and my wife would take turns caring for her. When it became obvious that her needs were more than could be met at her home, the decision was made to find a nursing facility that could meet those needs. I’m not suggesting here that we did everything exactly the way it should have been done, but we tried, working together, to make sure her needs were met.

Then, when my mother passed away, my siblings and I worked together to make arrangements for her celebration of life service. Afterwards, we worked together to make sure her estate was treated with fairness.

If I could go back and change some things, would I? Absolutely! For one thing, I would have tried to take some of the burden off of my sister, as she went above and beyond in caring for our mother. But the point is, we tried, with everything in us, to work together. When it was all said and done we even heard a few individuals say they wished their families could work together as well as we had.

My question is, why can’t you? My siblings and I are nothing special. We are just three individuals who love each other and care for one another. Are we as close as we could be, or should be? Certainly not. But I know one thing for sure: if I need them, they will be there for me, and I for them.

Friends, life is too short to allow fractured relationships to go unattended. What, in all of life, could be so bad that it fractures our relationships to the point that we can’t stand the sight of one another? Please, don’t allow too much time to pass before you make every effort to be reconciled. I assure you, if you don’t, there will come the day you look back with deep regret because you allowed whatever happened in the past to rob you of the joy you could be experiencing in the present.

So, go ahead, make that phone call. You will be glad you did!