Are you allowing someone else to live rent free inside your mind? Do you spend time dwelling on something someone said or did to you in the past, not able to let it go? Have you developed a bitter spirit and a hateful attitude toward that person for what was done or said? Do you spend time devising plans in your mind of ways you might cause them to hurt as much, or more, than they have caused you to hurt?

I have met several individuals in my lifetime who were being eaten up on the inside because of a spirit of anger, hatred and resentment. Someone had done something to them at some point in the past, and they could not bring themselves to extend forgiveness to that individual. Instead, they continued to allow their spirit of unforgiveness to grow more and more intense, which eventually led them to become embittered, cold and hard-hearted.

I realize that being hurt by another person can cause deep and abiding wounds, leaving invisible scar tissue which, left unchecked, can grow harder and harder with the passing of time. And please understand, it can happen to any of us. We may have fooled ourselves into thinking that we are too mature and spiritually strong to ever allow a spirit of anger to cause us to become bitter and hard, but that simply is not true. Perhaps it has happened to you, as it did to me several years ago.

Without going into detail, let me just bare my soul for a moment. While serving as pastor of a church quite a number of years ago, the church called a man to serve in the position of associate pastor. As soon as he arrived on scene and began his duties, he began showing that he had no respect for pastoral authority, and no intent of submitting to the church’s guiding principles for pastoral conduct. His behavior was suspect from the very beginning, and it soon became evident that he was involved in some very questionable and unethical practices. When confronted about his behavior, he refused to adhere to the counsel of church leadership. Eventually, his behavior caused so much division in the church family that the church lost a vast number of its membership, and ultimately closed the doors.

I developed a very hard heart toward this man. I would do everything in my power to stay away from him. If I saw him walking toward me, I would quickly turn and go in a different direction just to keep from having any contact with him. It was a full two years later that the Holy Spirit convicted me severely about my spirit of unforgiveness toward him. I had to extend forgiveness to him, and then ask for his forgiveness of my unforgiving spirit toward him.

He was living rent free in my mind, causing me much needless grief because of his actions, and I had to release him from that before my mind and spirit could be free. This is based on the teaching of Jesus in one of His discourses. Read the following quote carefully and prayerfully:

“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

Matthew 6:14-15

Admittedly, this passage used to really bother me. It sounds as if Jesus is saying that in order to experience forgiveness from God, I have to forgive others. But this thought it contrary to the overall teaching of Scripture that one is saved by faith alone, with nothing else to be added. So, if my salvation is based on my willingness to forgive, then it is based on doing something for God, and not on what God has done for me through Jesus Christ.

What Jesus is speaking of here is the fact that once one has been forgiven, he will, by God’s grace, be able and willing to forgive others, just as they have been forgiven. This principle is clearly seen in the parable of the unforgiving servant (please read Matthew 23:18-35). In this parable, it is clearly seen that the unforgiving servant was allowing another servant to live rent free in his mind, and was consumed with the desire to receive payment from him. This is after he has just been forgiven of an enormous debt by the king.

To experience the power of God’s forgiveness in Christ will enable us to forgive as we have been forgiven. That is the essence of this parable, and of the teaching of Jesus in the passage quoted above. It is not focusing on our relationship with God, but rather on our fellowship with God. As with the unforgiving servant in Jesus’ parable, his obsession with getting payment from his fellow servant shows that he was not ‘living’ in the experience of his being forgiven. Thus, it shows he was enslaved in a spirit of unforgiveness. That resulted in his imprisonment.

Are you imprisoned today in a spirit of unforgiveness? Is there bitterness and anger seething in your mind and spirit because of some hurt you have experienced? Then you need to release the person by extending forgiveness to them, and then you will experience the liberating power of God’s forgiveness in your life. Until you are willing to do that, you will remain imprisoned in your self imposed prison of unforgiveness. I encourage you to be set free by the power of God’s forgiving grace.