Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.

Cute little saying, isn’t it? We’ve all heard it, maybe even said it. Perhaps in childhood, in a moment of childish confrontation and conflict with a friend, something was said, some hurtful words were spoken. They were aimed directly at you. You caught the weight of those cutting remarks, and your spirit was momentarily crushed. Even now, as you read these words, some incident from childhood is spinning around in your mind, reliving that moment in time long ago when you suffered from the cutting remarks of a friend.

So what did you do? Maybe, just maybe, you bent forward at the waist, glared at the friend who spoke the hurtful words, stuck out your tongue, and then shouted, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” But they did hurt. Tears began to flow down your cheeks. Your face was flushed. And yes, you were hurt by the words. They still haunt you, even all these years later.

Words are powerful. With words we can communicate love, or hate; encouragement, or discouragement; joy, or sadness. Parents, to a large extent, mold their children by speaking certain words to them with consistency. “You’re just stupid!” “You’ll never amount to anything!” “You’re ugly!” “You’re fat!” “You sure know how to pick them, don’t you?” “Let me do that – you never do anything right.” And on and on and on.

Even as adults, if we are told consistently that we are stupid, or incapable, or that we’ll never amount to anything, then chances are we will eventually believe it. We will then begin living out the reality of those hurtful words.

We need desperately to learn how to guard our words. We need to speak with love, and encouragement, instilling in others a sense of confidence. Please note that I am not saying that we candy-coat the truth. Sometimes we have to use words that do not seem to be uplifting and encouraging, but they need to be spoken. Children sometimes need to hear the word, “No”, teaching them that certain behaviors or actions are not permissible. But even those words need to be spoken with love and encouragement.

Husbands and wives need to speak to one another with love, respect, and the desire to build each other up. In my years as pastor, I have counseled with many couples, and listened to them bash each other verbally in my presence. I sat and wondered, “If they speak to one another like this in my presence, it must really be a war zone in their home,”

Words. Powerful tools that can be used for good, or for bad. They can build up, or tear down. They can help a child, or adult, develop confidence in themselves, or destroy any sense of self-worth. They can help a person believe in themselves or buy into the idea that they really are worthless, incapable of accomplishing anything in life.

Let’s make a concerted effort to use our words wisely. To use words to build up, to encourage, to instruct, to counsel, to advise, to guide, to correct, to help in any way possible, so that the person receiving our words may be uplifted and encouraged. And, even when we must speak words of admonition, do it with love.

Parents, grandparents, let’s speak uplifting, encouraging words to our children and grandchildren. Husbands, wives, let’s do the same with our spouses. Employers, employees, speak kindly to one another, building each other up. Let’s commit to use our words are tools of good, for the good of others.

Until next time:

Blessings!